Sunday, November 13, 2011

Superman II Review


In my ongoing quest to take the true measure of the Superman films, I've rewatched Superman II several times recently. Filmed simultaneously with Superman: The Movie, this film should have been a slam dunk success. Instead, it got bogged down in studio hijinx. In the middle of production director Richard Donnor was fired and replaced, bringing on massive script revisions. You know that whole "turn back time" thing from the first movie? It was ACTUALLY supposed to be in THIS movie! We're talking major rewrites here.

First, the good. Christopher Reeve is once again a brilliant Clark Kent AND Superman. The return of Gene Hackman as Lex along with his two idiotic sidekicks Otis and Miss Teschmacher are classic Superman. Hackman steals the movie with his interactions with Zod. Also, it's nice to see Superman fight actual superhumans that can challenge him physically. Zod is an amazing character. He has some great lines such as calling Earth, "Planet Houston" and responding to "Oh, God!" With, "ZOD." Ursa's outfit is sexy and she exudes a certain cockiness. Non's inability to use heat vision is comedic gold. And the moment when Superman returns after his absence is what the film is all about. Amazing.

Next, the... odd. This film is filled with many odd moments that make the viewer say.... huh? For example, Superman and the other Kryptonians seem to have powers we never knew about before. Assuming that Superman flies using telekinesis, this film extends that idea to other objects (such as a policeman's shotgun). Superman wraps up a villain using his chest insignia as a weird net. Superman also appears to be able to create illusions of himself at will, throw his voice, and teleport. Not to mention being able to erase or alter someone's memories by kissing them! Oh, and perhaps you can add telepathy to the list of powers. How else can you explain how the Phantom Zone Kryptonians can both hear the astronauts speak in their space suits and speak back to them in the void of space?

The film seems oddly fixated on landmarks - The Eiffle Tower, Niagra Falls, Mr. Rushmore, and the White House all make appearances in this film. Someone else that makes a return appearance is John Ratzenberger (Cliff, from Cheers). The cameo is just enough to make you scratch your head a little. Especially since Marlon Brando DOESN'T make a return, being inexplicably replaced by Superman's mother... wait, what's her name again? I don't know and I'm guessing you don't either. This is compounded when later in the film a human Clark calls for "Father!" who hasn't been in the film at all.

It's a little odd that Superman, the man who "never lies," wins by tricking his enemies through manipulation and deception. He lies to Luthor knowing that he will pass along that information to his enemies. And then, to defeat a powerless Zod, Non, and Ursa Superman could have simply picked them all up and flown them to jail as he does Lex. But instead, Superman apparently feels like killing the helpless mortals by throwing them into the frigid arctic waters. That doesn't seem very Superman-like to me. Likewise, at the end of the movie Superman must have been feeling a little vindictive to smash up a diner taking out some petty revenge on a human bully.

And then there's the super-breath from Zod, Non, and Ursa. I timed it. It goes on for TWO MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS. During that period of time, you witness such important plot points as a man rolling backward on roller skates and a man struggling with an open umbrella (wait - was it raining?).

The whole opening sequence is a bit far fetched. Terrorists with a nuclear bomb? Let's send Lois in! She may die but I hope it's not before she turns in her story! What's the best way to get that story? Ride on the underside of an elevator to the top of the Eiffel Tower where the bomb and terrorists are! Wait... how does that get you a story again? And then the bomb explodes in space where Superman takes it... and the force of the explosion causes waves that free the Phantom Zone villains. Wait... what? What waves of force? SPACE IS A VOID!

Likewise, Lois discovering Clark's secret is a bit clunky. She jumps into the river rapids to prove Clark is Superman... and Clark nearly lets her drown. "Sorry Lois, but you found out my secret identity so now you've got to die! Unless, that is, I can save you by happenstance without confirming that I'm Superman." Then five minutes later he intentionally reveals his secret identity to her. The whole romance between Superman and Lois is odd as well. Superman jumps into the sack with her literally on their first date. Then when he gives up his powers there's this moment when Lois is like, "I love Superman, not Clark but you just threw away Superman so now I'm stuck with loser Clark! Thanks buddy!" You get the idea that had Clark stayed human Lois would have quickly lost interest.

Despite my nit-picking and minor gripes, I thoroughly enjoy this film. It's a very strong entry into the Superman film franchise. So strong that when Bryan Singer took control of the franchise he kept Superman: The Movie and Superman II in continuity. Which is just odd because at the end of Superman II Superman says to the President, "Sorry I've been away. I won't let you down again," and then at the beginning of Superman Returns we discover that Superman's been away for five years. That's you're first clue about Superman Returns.

1LR Review: 15 out of 20 - It's a Hit!

2 comments:

  1. "Superman must have been feeling a little vindictive to smash up a diner taking out some petty revenge on a human bully."

    Smashed up a diner? Some plates got knocked off the counter and a pinball machine got smashed, all of which he paid for. Plus, bullies need to be dealt with. Why not ask why Superman fights crime? Taking the bully down a peg or two might curb his behavior towards others in the future.

    Sheesh, dude.

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  2. Superman's Mother's name is Lara Lor-Van, played by Susanna York.

    I agree about the strange powers. They're neither explained nor fit in any continuity Superman fans experienced before. The giant plastic "S" thing was the strangest.

    "How else can you explain how the Phantom Zone Kryptonians can both hear the astronauts speak in their space suits and speak back to them in the void of space?"

    Telepathy is obvious, if just for the fact that they speak multiple languages. Ergo, they interpret the thought, not the language. However, I do like "explaining" things, so to pick up your challenge, one could say that since Kryptonians have an improbable lung capacity (ie: super cold breath for over 2 minutes), perhaps in space they exhale enough "air" to create a temporary atmosphere to allow for sound, only to dissipate mere moments afterwards.

    One nitpick of mine that you didn't catch or mention, was the snake that bit Ursa. They are impervious to bullets and mortar fire, but the fangs of a common snake can penetrate her skin?

    " She jumps into the river rapids to prove Clark is Superman... and Clark nearly lets her drown."

    Did anyone honestly believe he would let her drown, just to save his ID? If she was in real danger, he'd of been there in a nano-second. It was a scene merely to illustrate how complicated keeping his secret is becoming. Not to mention, even in those pre-internet days, sci-fi nerds often asked "How come Louis never notices Clark is always absent when Superman shows up..." and this was an attempt to address that very thing. But you can't satisfy all nitpickers all the time. Especially when nit-pickers are nit-picking their nit-pickery in full nit-pickerdom.

    " The whole romance between Superman and Lois is odd as well. Superman jumps into the sack with her literally on their first date."

    Gee, maybe they should of gone to the Drive-in and shared a Cherry Coke. Really? So two 30-Something individuals, who've loved each other for sometime, yet restricted by a secret identity, can finally express their feelings for each other now that the barrier has been removed, yet they must still follow the 1955 bible camp handbook: "Holding Hands With Boys: A Slippery Slope To Whoresville." We're gonna take the prudish road and call them immoral cause it's a "first date"? Let's also not forget that this movie was made in a period where Superhero Films weren't taken seriously, and an attempt to bring some adult context and subject matter to a franchise that was dismissed as "not for adults" should be praised and not scorned. Nit-pickedness aside.

    ""I love Superman, not Clark but you just threw away Superman so now I'm stuck with loser Clark! Thanks buddy!" You get the idea that had Clark stayed human Lois would have quickly lost interest."

    Wow, this disappoints me. She didn't love him for his powers, she loved him for who he was. Honest, trustworthy, noble, confident, strong (in spirit) etc. He was still Superman after losing his powers. Remember, as you even acknowledged, Clark was a facade. He was clumsy, unsure, weak-willed, submissive and lacking confidence. When Superman lost those powers, he didn't have any of those traits.


    "It's a little odd that Superman, the man who "never lies," wins by tricking his enemies through manipulation and deception."

    technically, he didn't lie. He said we should get them into that molecule chamber. It takes away their powers. Which is true, it took his away earlier in the film. Superman just didn't mention that he reversed the field, projecting out, not in.

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