Saturday, October 6, 2012

31 Days of Zombie Infestation: Day 6 - U.S. Army Zombie Training Manual

Army of one. Plus 100,000 zombies.
It's good to know that the U.S. Army is prepared to defend us from any situation. Including the inevitable zombie infestation.

Wait. What? This manual isn't how the army plans on DEFENDING us from zombies. It's literally a guide on how to TRAIN zombies to do jobs for the army.

Does this sound wise to anyone else? No? Okay, then we're on the same page.

The logic goes like this: The army can train dogs and the navy can train dolphins... why not train captured zombies? They can track, search, attack, and even go undercover! I think the best use might be to find the mines in a mine field.

But I see one big difference between a zombie and a dog or dolphin - a dolphin doesn't carry a infectious disease that could wipe humanity from the face of the earth. I say the only good zombie is a dead zombie. I mean really dead, not undead.

So I would implore the President to rewrite policy when it comes to zombies and our armed forced. Containment is a recipe for disaster and to think that they can be retrained is just playing with fire. Unfortunately, the only way to deal with the threat of zombies is complete annihilation. I know that's not very PC but it's the hard truth of the situation.

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