Marvel Media Mania: Man Thing

Man-Thing is a 2005 direct-to-DVD movie (it is listed as having a box office total of $143,615 but it certainly wasn't released across the nation into movie theaters). It's budget was a measly $7.5 million. Let's cut right to the chase on this one: We might be getting the worst Marvel media project out of the way early on in Marvel Media Mania. Because this thing is a real stinker.

First of all, Man-Thing barely appears in this film. His total screen time is less than five minutes. An oil pump and a dream catcher have more screen time. Seriously. Man-Thing first appears at 42:30 in the film and then we only see his hand. Now I understand hiding the monster to build up suspense but this film isn't suspenseful or scary. Man-Thing is actually the "bad guy" of the film as he is a mass murdered randomly killing humans who wander into the swamp. Why? To push a liberal anti-corporation, pro-environmental agenda. Man-Thing himself looks okay except for the fact that he's an obvious CGI.

This is perhaps the most "mature" Marvel film as well as it is the only one I can think of with frontal nudity, strong swearing throughout, and bloody gore.

Perhaps the biggest problem with this film is the sheer boredom it induces. There are two LONG swamp sequences that are nothing but character travelling in the swamp at night. These sequences actually quite difficult to stay awake during. The plot is slow and there's little character development. I watched this movie twice and I was still confused when they mentioned the name of another character. In the end you just don't care about any of the characters - not even the main character, Kyle Williams, the new sheriff. He moved by Bywater for a job but we never find out anything about his character other than he's a cop.

The best line of the film comes in the first minutes. The new sheriff asks, "Why do they call it Bywater?" His guide replies in a thick southern drawl, "Because it's by the water." That's as good as it gets in this movie.

1LR Review - 3 out of 20 - A Total Failure!