You, Too, Can Be a REAL Jedi!

So, how does one become a Jedi? Aren't I, "Too old for the training?" Well, it turns out, I just have to read this book (and the three after it): http://newilluminatiprotocols.com/media/TheBookOfJedi-np.php?RSID=1146&r=jedi2

The thing is, these people are SERIOUS. I mean, SERIOUSLY serious. Here's what is says from the New Illuminati Protocols website:

"The Book of Jedi is a free publication that prepares the Initiate for training in a Jedi Academy. It has been imbued with specific thought seeds and a secret internal rhythm that will awaken an awareness of The Force within you. Simply by reading through this document in it’s entirety, certain inner preparations will be made within you. The Jedi Order has existed quietly on Earth for centuries, awaiting for this moment in history to come forward and make our training available to many more who qualify to learn the ways of The Force. In the final pages, instructions will be given to you should you choose to request additional information about formal training in one of our academies."

So look out, bullies who picked on my in high school. I'm a JEDI now and I don't take no gruff from nobody! Man, it was easier to become a Jedi than it was to bulk up on muscle like that Charles Atlas ad on the back of comic books promised me! Sweet!
Perhaps this explains all of those Jedi reported in the UK census...