Star Wars Video: You're Beautiful by Christina Aguilera

Hate Jar Jar Binks? You're not alone, as this video illustrates. This is my friend Bill's third Star Wars video and, in my humble opinion, the best of the three. The use of Christina Augilera's song, "You're Beautiful" juxtaposed against the Jar Jar hate is brilliant.  

31 Days of Zombie Infestation: Day 3 - Star Wars Death Trooper Statue

Star Wars: Death Trooper Statue

We at 1LR previously informed you about a series of Star Wars novels that had at last unleashed the undead upon the Star Wars universe. At the time of this announcement this was the single coolest thing to come from a galaxy far, far away in a long time. But this statue, inspired by the novel Death Troopers, may just exceed the novels themselves in sheer awesomeness.

The statue is a Gentle Giant Sculpt. I think they got the pose just right. Obviously something has attracted the attention of this Death Trooper but the left arm hanging off at an odd angle speaks to the awkwardness of movement this poor fella must experience. I love that the mouth has been revealed to show just a hint of the zombie beneath the armor... and to make feasting upon human flesh easier!

It's about time horror stories were able to be told in the Star Wars universe! Fans of both zombies and Star Wars - unite behind this monument of brilliance!

Star Wars Video: I'm Stuck With You by Huey Lewis and the News

Check out this video my friend Bill put together! "I'm Stuck With You" by Huey Lewis and the News is used as the theme for R2D2 and C3PO from Star Wars!

Geek Gear: Darth Vader and Son Picture Book

Together, we can rule the galaxy! And go out for ice cream.

Ever wonder what would have happened if Darth Vader has actually raised Luke? Well, wonder no longer! Thanks to the comical picture book "Darth Vader and Son!"

How would Darth Vader deal with the trials and tribulations of an average dad? If you're a father you know what I'm talking about. The reason God hasn't given us force powers is because our children know how to push us to the Dark Side.

But force powers could be quite practical as a parent as well... "No, I said you're going to clean    your     room..." (Wave hands) Who needs a remote when you can change the channel with the force? And imagine being able to force choke any of your daughter's boyfriends. It never works, no matter how hard I try. *sigh*

But I also wonder about Leia. Where's the "Darth Vader's Little Leia" book? Surely that would be equally hilarious.

Geek Gear: Lightsaber Flashlights

Lightsaber flashlight

Seriously? This was never done before?

This one seems like a natural. After all, a flashlight and lightsaber are both the same basic shape and they both shoot light out of the end.

There are currently two - Vader and Luke's lightsabers. They feature sound effects as well as light! They're seven inches... I wonder how well they actually work as a flashlight? For $25 the answer had better be "Very well!"

I do think that they missed out on naming these things. Instead of repeating the word "light" perhaps they should be called a Flashlightsaber.

Geek Gear: Death Star Bottle Opener

We now have the ultimate power in the universe!...
the ability to open bottles!

First it was the Star Trek Enterprise bottle opener. Of course, the Star Wars folks were not to be outdone. This metal bottle opener is in the image of the Death Star, the circular section that is used to fire the planet-destroying laser is cleverly used as the bottle opening part.

So with this clever little tool you could either rule the galaxy with your iron fist... or kick back and enjoy some ice cold refreshment in a bottle. One of those two paths leads to the dark side... but I won't tell you which one!

Up, Up and Away... In My Beautiful... Vader Head?

Is there nothing that isn't improved by placing Darth Vader's imagine on it? Witness the glorious spectacle that is... Darth Balloon! I'm waiting for Lucas to pop it with a dart claiming it infringes his "intellectual property rights." Sheesh. I'm also in talks with my comic shop about this... why didn't I see this item listed in Previews? What a rip!

The Darth Vader balloon... more beautiful than the setting sun.

Let's just go ahead and put Vader's head on Mount Rushmore.

Sci-Fi Mount Rushmore...
I'd replace Robocop with Kirk, Boba Fett with Vader, and the Predator with an the Alien Queen.

Millenium Falcon on Google Maps

Parkland High School or space craft...?

This one was sent in by my friend Sam. Check out this school that looks like the Millenium Falcon from the sky on Google Maps (in satellite view):

You can check out the map here. 

How'd you like to go to school HERE?

Indiana Jones/Star Wars Crossover - Official!

Thanks to Bill for making us aware of this awesome crossover between Indiana Jones and Star Wars - endorsed by George Lucas himself!

Indian Jones vs Storm Troopers

Awhile ago, 1LR had asked the question, "Who would win, Han or Indy?" - you can find that answer here.

How Much Would a Death Star Cost?

The folks over at www.centives.com set to figuring out how much it would cost to build a Death Star. You can check out the details here.

Here's what's surprising - there's enough iron on Earth to make 2 million Death Stars. Sure, it comes from the core and would ruin the planet completely if it was removed but who needs Earth when you have 2 million Death Stars? 

As for the cost, they estimated the cost of the iron to be $852,000,000,000,000,000. That's 13,000 times the Earth's total GDP.

What they DIDN'T figure in was the cost of getting the iron into outer space, let alone the electronics and paying all the space contractors to build the think. Space unions have very good salary and benefits negotiators. So I'd add about 15 zeros onto that cost. But, hey, the good thing that unemployment would be reduced to zero! Economy problem solved by the Empire!

Geek Gear: Star Wars Cookbook

Have you ever watched the Jabba the Hutt sequence from Return and wonder, "How can I eat what Jabba's eating?" Well, now you can!

 

Mmm-mm! Wookiee Pies - an old family favorite! Grandma used to skin her own Wookies out back! She made sure that she only used the highest quality Wookie meat for a Wookie Pie!

Why do I doubt that a recipe for Jogan Fruit Cake is included?

Darth Vader Loves Unicorns

It's a well known fact that Darth Vader loves unicorns. 

Really... he does! Check out this awesome work by Hillary White.

She does all sorts of cool pop-culture mash-ups. Take a look:

Some might call them irreverent but I think they're brilliant. Man, that "IT" Clown is creepy.

Check more out here and you can buy an awesome print here. 

 

Geek Gear: The Jedi Path

Oh yeah, there was this okay Jedi Path book released awhile ago as well. I'm sure it's okay and everything if you're into, you know, nobility, self-sacrifice, and honor. But I'm betting it doesn't have lights or play music. Stupid Jedi.

 

Geek Gear: Book of the Sith

Now this is just cool. This book is $100.00. Wait. Here me out. It comes in a black-and-red pyramid case. At the touch of a button, the door opens, lights light up, Star Wars music plays... and out comes The Book of the Sith!
 

I can't believe I'm saying this... but this is so awesome it's probably worth it. Who needs $100.00 anyway? What is that - two tanks of gas? Bah!

Hello, Dark Side, my glorious friend. Mwha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Happy Easter, Gamer!

Today is the day we celebrate our risen Savior, Jesus Christ! So 1LR wants to wish you a happy Easter, gamer! I'm not sure how the resurrection of our Lord and Savior translated into bunnies, eggs, and jelly beans but so be it! Here's a couple of cool geek Easter picks for you:

 

Geek Gear: Lightsaber Bread Knife

While a full-blown lightsaber is probably years away, Four-One Designs announced recently that they've moved into production with "Lightsaber Bread Knives." You hear right - Lightsaber technology put to a practical use!

This technological wonder doesn't operate QUITE like it's science-fictional daddy, however. There is a physical blade that is specially designed with space aged materials so it can hold a super-science polymer that, when exposed to electrical current, acts quite a lot like a lightsaber. These knives are set to be able to cut through steel pipes! 

Needless to say, Four-One Designs is hard at work making cutting boards that are lightsaber resistant.

The price for the initial offering of one of these bad boys is $149.99. You can order here. Supplies are limited!

Darth Burger

We had Dark Side M&Ms... but what about the main meal? Well, the fast-food chain Quick is selling a Darth Vader burger on a black bun as well as a Jedi burger.

 

As you can see, there's also a Darth Maul burger! 

So let's go drive to our nearest Quick and get one!

Wait... Quick is in EUROPE? Why in the world are these burgers only available in EUROPE? Hardee's or Burger King could have made a mint off of these things! 

Ah, who cares. I think they really blew it anyway. The Jedi burger should have a green bun if they're going to use Yoda. And how about those little sword picks that are used for holding burgers together? They should have made a bunch of those as lightsabers. And Darth Vader doesn't even APPEAR in Episode I! There should be a JarJar burger that you hate, an Anakin burger that is so small it's gone really fast (get it?), or a Queen Padme Amidala burger that can be disguised and simply called by its first name, Padme (which, of course, makes the disguise a good one if you don't change your name).

Oh well. Let the Europeans have them. After all, the "Food Police" here in America would never let it be any good anyway. They'd want to take all the fat, sodium, carbs, and calories out of it, label it as dangerous, and then tax it. Imperial Food Police... Heh...

Did JarJar Kill Pinball?

Pinball is, for all intents and purposes, a dead industry. Why? The movie Tilt has the answers.

Williams was the world's leading pinball manufacturer with a 80% market share. They bet the house on a last ditch effort to make pinball profitable - Pinball 2000. I remember those machines. The first was Attack From Mars. It was a financial success although I myself didn't enjoy playing it very much.

Then Williams bet the house on a Pinball 2000 for Star Wars Episode I. There were several problems with the launch including a late release after the film left theaters. But in the movie Tilt, developers pointed to one factor that annoyed players - too much JarJar.

Ultimately, Williams had to shut down their pinball division, thus essentially killing pinball. So the message I'm walking away with is that JarJar is so bad that he singlehandedly destroyed a classic arcade staple. Thanks, JarJar.

A Rainbow of Fruit Flavored Lightsabers

Alright, I was one of those Star Wars fans. I hated Mace Windu's violet lightsaber. I've since made peace with the *shudder* purple lightsaber, but I couldn't help but notice two lightsabers from the Clone Wars CGI television show.

The first was a WHITE or SILVER lightsaber. Tera Sinube is the Jedi that carries this lightsaber. He actually has the handle of it concealed inside his walking cane. Very awesome lightsaber.

The second was a BLACK lightsaber. Pre Vizsla wields the black lightsaber. Apparently, this lightsaber is a Jedi/Sith artifact that was stolen from the Jedi Temple. Pre Vizsla isn't a Jedi or Sith - he's the head of the Mandalorian "Death Watch" terrorist group. This lightsaber is actually not round - it has an edge like a blade. Very cool looking lightsaber.

So, see - once you accept purple and yellow lightsabers, the sky is the limit. In fact, I check it out on Wookieepedia.com (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber_crystal) and there are literally DOZENS of lightsaber colors from bronze to pink (yes, pink) to rainbow to brown. I'm fairly certain that you could collect enough different colored lightsabers to match every crayon in a 64 count Crayola crayon box.

Is this sacrilegious? Ridiculous? Silly? Unnecessary? Perhaps. But I have to tell myself it is not worth getting upset over it. A cool character is going to be cool no matter what color lightsaber you put in his hand. Except pink.

Star Wars Clone Wars - Review

If you're a fan of Star Wars, you probably had flashbacks to the *shudder* Christmas Special when you watched the CGI Star Wars "Episode 2.5": The Clone Wars. That thing is nearly unwatchable and added NOTHING at all to continuity. Wait, we're saving Jabba the Hutt's SON? And he's sick? And Anakin has a padawan now in some crazy padawan mix-up? UGH.

Still, being a completionist I had to have the recently released Star Wars: Clone Wars - The Complete Season One, Two, and Three DVDs. After all, the 2003 Cartoon Network animated Star Wars show of the the same name was VERY cool. It showed quite a few pivotal moments (Anakin becoming a Jedi Master, Anakin using a red lightsaber for the first time, Yoda kicking tail during a full scale invasion of Corrusant) and it had great style (The dialogueless episodes are awesome). So I was willing to give the newest Clone Wars show a try.

From the opening credits which feature an up-tempo, pulsing variant on the Star Wars theme I was (and am!) blown away. It's absolutely SPECTACULAR. First, each episode opens with a Jedi fortune cookie quote and a 1950's newsreel style plot summary. The show is rendered in beautiful CGI with fully constructed worlds. Every episode has a completely different focus and tone. One episode is full-scale war. Another is a mystery. Yet another is a horror story. You see characters interact in ways we haven't seen before and light is shed into unexplored corners of the Star Wars universe (such as biological warfare). There are stand-alone episodes and other episodes that are part of a larger story arc. Lesser known characters such as jedi Plo Koon and Ki-Adi-Mundi are more fully developed and you realize that these characters can do more than silently sit on their rumps on the Jedi Counsel. They're cool! This series truly gives you the feeling that the Clone Wars is a WAR that, like a real war, is costly and harsh. You don't get that full feeling from the movies because they simply don't have the time to dedicate to it like a television show does.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (by the way, why aren't they called the "Droid Wars?" and isn't using "Wars" twice in one title redundant?) is a must-have for any Star Wars fan. I would say that collectively they're better than the movies SW: Episode 1, 2, and 2.5 put together. Over time, you'll almost come to like Anakin's padawan, Ahsoka Tano. And that's really saying something.

1LR Review - 17 out of 20 - It's a Critical Hit!