Geek Gear: Watchmen Rorschach Toaster

Rorschach Toaster

Hurm. Are you seeing things in your food? Perhaps Mary or Jesus? Well, you can now see anything your twisted psyche can project onto random black blobs thanks to this Watchmen toaster! As you can see, it prints a blob on your toast, just like a Rorschach Test that inspired the character design for Rorschach!

As cool as this toaster is, it would be even cooler still if it made a DIFFERENT blob every time you made toast instead of the same shape over and over again.

The Watchmen Splotch

The Dynamic Forces solicitation in Previews states that this is the first in a line of collector toasters. SERIOUSLY? Who out there is looking to collect toasters? Sure, I understand picking one up just to give yourself a giggle every morning but to collect an entire line of them? Insanity!

The ad smartly advises that you might want to eat your toast with a cold can of beans just like Rorschach does. I personally would say that you should put a single splotch of red jelly in the corner. See if you can get the shape just right.

Before Watchmen: Ozymandias #2 Reaction

Ozymandias #2

The cover to the tenth Before Watchmen comic, Ozymandias #2, really bothers me. It's not the image itself. It's the fact that this is an image that grabs your attention and then disappoints you because it has NO connection to the actual story inside. Who is this woman? What does the cord around Adrian's neck symbolize? We don't even have a  hint to an answer. Great image but it would have been a better cover for Nite Owl #2.

Adrian picks up his quest to avenge his lover's drug-induced death. The two-page spread that shows Adrian taking out the thugs quick as lightning is absolutely great. All of the objects and figures are silhouettes against a background the same yellow as the cover. Jae Lee slips back to his old standby, the silhouette, in this issue far too often and it quickly gets old.

Ozymandias gets to deliver the famous lines from the poem that inspired his name in this comic which is a great moment. What a fantastically fitting scene, especially because we all know where the character ends up.

I was thrilled with the development the issue takes at the end. Hooded Justice is a mystery among mystery men and to have both Ozymandias and the Comedian (either together or as adversaries) trying to learn what became of him is almost too good to wait for.

In the backup story, The Curse of the Crimson Corsair, I'm a little bit sick of every installment beginning or ending with the main character unconscious. In this case, both are true. The "cliffhanger" endings where the main character is in mortal peril wear thin after awhile as well. Are they really going to kill him in the tenth installment of a series of 200+ pages? No, I sincerely doubt it.

Before Watchmen: Nite Owl #2 Reaction

Nite Owl #2

With Nite Owl #2, Nite Owl takes a turn for the... mature.

The issue is narrated by Nite Owl but gives a good deal of attention to Rorschach. In pursuing a couple of criminals, Nite Owl and Rorschach encounter a dominatrix. Nite Owl is intrigued while Rorschach is repulsed to the point of violence. As a result, their partnership is tested.

The theme of the issue is past hurts. The encounter causes Rorschach to revisit seeing his mother with a man when he was a child. Meanwhile, a murdered hooker causes Nite Owl to remember his father beating his mother. He remembers getting beat up by bullies. His mother counsels him to find something to place, "between yourself and the dragon." Something to shield him from harm - a "happy place" as it were. Hence, Dan's obsession with the Nite Owl is born. It's also revealed that Dan's mother wanted to abort him when she became pregnant.

"It doesn't matter," is repeated throughout the issue. But it does, to the people involved. Nite Owl goes against the advice of his mentor and, at the end of the issue, revisits the dominatrix.

Once again, J. Michael Straczynski does what he does best - takes the characters apart like a watch and finds out what makes them tick. A great issue and it doesn't even have a super fight! (SHOCK!)

In the backup story takes one tiny, lurching step forward with the Crimson Corsair finally giving the curse that is referenced in the title. He takes the main character's (I have no idea what his name is - if it was ever mentioned it has been issues since it has been repeated) soul and throws him overboard to begin his quest to find the three items he needs to secure his freedom.

Before Watchmen: Comedian #2

Comedian #2

The eighth book in Before Watchmen, The Comedian #2 starts the same way as #1 - with a Kennedy.

Since John F. Kennedy was assassinated at the end of the first story, this time the story starts with Bobby Kennedy and Eddie watching Muhammad Ali vs Sonny Liston. I've noticed that the Before Watchmen books seem to really go out of their way to include famous people.

I'm not sure what it was, but the dialogue just doesn't flow is some places in this issue. The trick of carrying dialogue over from one page to end in the first panel of the next is overused. Perhaps I'm missed a few cultural references as well because at times I found it hard to tell what the characters were talking about.

The big event of the issue is that the Comedian goes to Vietnam. Now THIS is going to be good. When he first arrives, the war isn't yet a war - it's a conflict. The issue ends with President Johnson's declaration of war. Really, the war itself seems to be the primary character of the story, not the Comedian. We're treated to the inside story of how the Vietnam conflict was funded by drug money. Overall, the issue seemed to lack focus.

Still, we got to see the Comedian's idea of a "joke." Except, I think he was the only one laughing.

I'm REALLY looking forward to the next issue, however. The Comedian, unleashed during the Vietnam War? How glorious is it going to be???!!!???

The Crimson Corsair backup FINALLY sets up the actual plot of the story. The main character must get three items to earn his freedom from the Flying Dutchman. They're nonsensical or mysterious items but if he ever wants his freedom he must attain them. This meandering story, told an ounce at a time, finally has a direction. Hopefully it will seem more focused going forward.

Before Watchmen: Silk Spectre #2 Reaction

Silk Spectre #2

I was completely blown away by Amanda Conner in Silk Spectre #1 so I breathlessly anticipated the second  issue (the seventh Before Watchmen book).

Of course, Ms. Connor didn't disappoint me! Her art, as always, is simply fantastic. Once again, on the cover her uniform's black space is used as a looking-glass, blending in the with the colors of the cover and showcasing the villains from the issue. Connor uses some of the same "Inside Silk Spectre's Head" panels this time but they are much less cartoony. In one sequence, Silk Spectre is put into the same pose in two adjacent panels to show the passage of time - the scenery changes around her. In the first panel, she's pulling on a boot. In the second, she's climbing through a window. It's a neat trick and shows the innovation Conner brings to her work.

The first have of the story is "narrated" by a letter to "Uncle Hollis." This is the better part of the story as the pictures often reveal much more than Laurie's words such as when she says, "It's not all fun and games." Most of the panels in this section don't have actual panel boxes around them to indicated an extended flashback. We're witnessing the origin of the new Silk Spectre.

The villain's motivation is a bit sketchy to say the least. Apparently, those hippies have rejected materialism to the point where they have stopped buying albums. So the plan is to release a drug that will induce teens to buy records. Unfortunately, the drug may have some negative side effects. The Beatles and (I think) Jim Morrison appear for some reason that's kinda unclear. Frankly, the story didn't need the complication of materialism-inducing drugs. Just having a new drug enter the market would have been enough to push the Silk Spectre into action.

In the end, the song lyrics (Peek-A-Boo, I'm Watching You) that are playing at a party blend together with Greg's dialogue (Don't Worry, I'll take good care of...), merging together on the word "You" as the panels fade to white and Laurie succumbs to the same drug that put her friend in a coma.

The Crimson Corsair backup (which actually has the title character in it this time!) really takes a turn toward The Pirates of the Caribbean. We are introduced to a crew of the undead, their cursed captain, a ship called teh Flying Dutchman, and a reference to Davy Jones. It kinda left me scratching my head... why go in this direction when it seems so similar to the Johnny Depp movies? We'll see what develops. 

Before Watchmen: Minutemen #2 Reaction

Minutemen #2

The sixth comic to be released for Before Watchmen and the first of the second issues, Minutemen #2 picks up with Hollis continuing to refine his tell-all book in 1962. This then leads Hollis back to thinking about 1939 when the Minutemen were forming.

The formation of the Minutemen with the tryouts is funny to see. It's kinda like America Idol - for every person with actual talent you have 25 that are less than spectacular. Then the fully-formed Minutemen go on their first mission. It's a... success, but instead of illegal munitions, they raid and destroy a fireworks factory. They then lie about it to the public and it lays a tainted foundation for the team.

It quickly becomes apparent that, as a super team, the Minutemen, will do good when they can but they are more concerned with their public image. When it is suggested that they investigate a child trafficking ring it is shot down because it wouldn't make for good press. Likewise, Hooded Justice is counseled to spent time in public with Sally to draw attention away from his affair with Captain Metropolis.

The last three pages are the real heart of the story, however. Three scenes are inter-cut on top of one another. In one, Mothman, Silhouette, and Nite Owl attempt to track down the child trafficking ring only to find a body strung up. In another, the poem, "The Unseen Playmate", by Robert Louis Stephenson is used to creepy effect to illustrate a child being abducted to panels eerily shaded all green. The third scene is Captain Metropolis, bound by Hooded Justice and begging him to stop. The effect of the three scenes has an almost mesmerizing effect.

Darwyn Cooke is having his way with the Minutemen and doing a brilliant job at it. His art style is reminiscent of the Batman: The Animated Series style but the subject matter is much darker. Writing wise, he can capture the essence of a character in a single line. The Minutemen have a wide variety of personalities and motivations and he somehow grasps them all simultaneously - from the Comedian to Night Owl.

The backup story, part six of the Curse of the Crimson Corsair, is really only six panels long and takes the main character from his raft and onto a ship where he meets the title character - The Crimson Corsair!

Before Watchmen: Ozymandias #1 Reaction

Ozymandias #1 is the fifth comic to come out in the Before Watchmen series.

Ozymandias #1

The comic book actually starts on October 11, 1985, during the continuity of the original Watchmen story. Ozymandias is documenting his own life in case his mission fails.
The story then goes all the way back to 1938 when Adrian's parents came to America. The sequence in which Adrian is picked on by schoolyard bullies sets the tone for the issue and, presumably, the series. After getting picked on Adrian learns martial arts and viciously maims the bully. The image with the bones sticking out of the bully's leg is truly gruesome.

As a teen, Adrian goes on a voyage to retrace the steps of Alexander of Macedonia. Along the way, the sequence with the bully is repeated, except this time it is an entire gang of thugs in a port city along the Black Sea.

This issue does a great job of painting a very clear picture of Adrian. Not only is he clearly superior to a normal human he also considers most of humanity to be beneath him. He is cool and viciously logical. To convey this sense of detachment, most of the panels are "silent" - without dialogue or even sound effects. This smartly conveys this sense of detachment from humanity.

That changes, however, when the Miranda character is introduced. Suddenly, the pages are filled with dialogue. Even though Adrian was distant and detached, it's evident from this switch that he did, indeed, care for Miranda. Which makes it odd that, with all of his intelligence, he didn't see her death coming. Once she dies, the story concludes, again, with "silent" panels heavily narrated with text boxes.

Miranda's death ultimately proves the catalyst for Adrian creating the Ozymandias persona.

Len Wein does a great job with the issue. He really nailed the character of Ozymandias, gave him a full backstory, and sets the character in a firm direction going forward. The use of "silent" panels really empowers the artist to tell the story and gives us unspoken insights into Adrian's character.

I'll admit that I'm not a huge fan of Jae Lee. I've tolerated his work on the Dark Tower series but for me his images are too dark, use unusually and unnecessary perspectives, and character and scene designs are all remarkably similar to one another. While these elements are certainly present here, somehow the "Jae Lee"-ness of it seems to have been toned down a bit. Sure, the tree the bully attacks Adrian under is ridiculous, just as the skyscraper under construction is. But quite a few of the pages are quite bright. And Jae Lee is simply great on page 3 - check out the shading on the Statue of Liberty.

As for the two-page Crimson Corsair backup, the teaser at the end of the last issue is revealed to be a false tease. The threat of the shark is quickly dispatched but the ending is noteworthy. Instead of a thrilling tease, Len Wein instead goes for philosophical ponderings. Alone and drifting on the open sea, the main character reflects that Hades wouldn't be eternal fire but the ocean at night.

Geek Gear: Watchmen T-Shirts

Bloody Smiley

Elemental Element

What do you see?

I'm always on the prowl for cool T-shirts. Check out these three Watchmen T-Shirts. What makes them cool? Because they're the equivalent of a comic book inside joke. Folks not "in the know" will have no idea what these T-shirts are all about. A red blob on a yellow T-shirt? Random black spots? Two black circles on a blue shirt? But comic book fans everywhere would see you and nod their head in recognition. Nowhere on these shirts does it say "Watchmen!" which makes them under-the-radar geek gear goodness.

Before Watchmen: Nite Owl #1 Reaction

Night Owl #1 is the fourth book to be released in the Before Watchmen series.

Of all of the issues released so far, I think this one may be the most cohesive. Allow me to explain.

First, it tells a great origin story for the second Night Owl. Characterization is crystal clear. You really get a sense of Danny's motivations and background.

More than any issue prior to this, the characters of the Watchmen universe start to come together. This issue sees Captain Metropolis's dream of forming a super-group come to fruition, tying the characters together in continuity for the first time in Before Watchmen. It starts when Nite Owl teams up with Rorschach and then they both answer Captain Metropolis's invitation to join the Crimebusters. The character dynamics between the various heroes are evident even in background images, such as Dr. Manhattan's instant attraction to the Silk Spectre and the Nite Owl's jealousy. Sometimes the words and pictures tell a very different story, which is just brilliant scripting by J. Michael Straczynski. 

The issue's title is "No Such Thing as a Free Lunch" and this is a motif throughout the story, from the very first page to the last.

The two-page backup feature, Crimson Corsair, slows the pace slightly as the main character narrowly avoids drowning after his ship is destroyed and takes a makeshift raft from a dead shipmate. The end is a bit of a false tease, however, as the next issue will show. I wish that these backups were somehow more thematically linked to the issue's main story. I also wish that the storyline seemed to have a more defined direction. At this point the main character has simply been thrown from one deadly scenario to another...

Before Watchmen: Comedian #1 Reaction

Comedian #1

Before Watchmen: Comedian #1 is the third book to be released in the Before Watchmen line.

The Comedian is a character completely unlike the other Watchmen characters and this cover illustrates that perfectly.

The Watchmen Smiley,
famously bloodied

First, the blog splotch perfectly mirrors the famous bloody smiley face. 

But the S&M mask with those wicked gleaming eyes and that devilish, broad smile is just chilling. My local comic store has this cover hanging up in its front window as a poster and I think it might actually be giving the public a very wrong idea about what kind of store it is. The story's title, "Smile" is quite fitting to this creepy cover image.

The story takes place in the 1960's and, for the first half, features the Comedian out of costume and hanging around with the Kennedy's. This seems like an odd choice at first but it is brilliant. Here's this completely unhinged, psychotic "hero" and he's in the inner circle of the President of the United States. He acts normal. And then he makes sure that Marilyn Monroe is dead at the request of Jackie Kennedy. 

The inclusion of the historical figures is absolutely essential to the story (I won't give away the ending but it's good - trust me) but it gives the Comedian a sense of being grounded in the real world. Sure, he's got to be real - isn't he interacting with real people? 

The second half of the story leads you in one direction, you think you're going down one path but I completely missed where it was really going to end up. I really don't want to spoil the ending for anyone so I'll stay mum. Let's just say that I was very impressed (of course) with the writing of Brian Azzarello. He managed to hide the obvious in plain sight and surprise us with it.

The backup feature, Crimson Corsair, continues to be a wild two page ride. In this issue the story takes yet ANOTHER 90 degree turn. Honestly, it is a bit much. What could be easily drawn out to ten or so pages is crammed into two and gives us another cliffhanger ending.

Before Watchmen: Silk Spectre #1 Reaction

Silk Spectre #1

Silk Spectre #1 is the second Before Watchmen book to be released.

Wow. Check out that cover. Amanda Connor and Paul Mounts put together a great image. I love the use of positive and negative spaces as well as using the black portions of the costume for a collage. There's really a lot there. But I'm drawn to the Silk Spectre's face and fist.. that speaks volumes. And, almost unnoticed, is the snowglobe in the lower center.

The snow globe is used in the same manner as the semicircles in Minutemen #1. On the first page, the narration goes on as the "camera" zooms into the snow globe. It then becomes a metaphor for the characters when the father figure is removed. On page three, the shattered snow globe lies in the foreground with a ring of light where the glove would have been highlighting the missing father and mother and daughter clutch one another on the couch. I mean... how do you draw an ABSENCE of something? The moment is brilliant and the scene hits a strong emotional cord.

Throughout the entire book I'm repeatedly blown away by Amanda Connor's art. Her facial expressions convey so much meaning. On the third panel of the tenth page of the story, the mother's concerned/desperate expression says more than ten narration boxes could. Connor's panels are full of background and foreground objects - no "motion lines" or solid color backgrounds like a lot of artists use to speed up the process. I personally am a big fan of this. She really nails a lot of the details from the 1960's such as the clothing the characters are wearing and even technology such as telephones and cars. The end result is the characters feel grounded in reality.

The writing is also nothing short of brilliant. The book is really without any "action" at all (except one brief "training exercise" the mother makes Laurie go through) but there's not a dull moment in it. The two main story threads of the issue - the tension between Laurie and her mother and Laurie's budding relationship with Greg - are both swifty and clearly defined in the first few pages of the story.

But the really memorable moment in this comic comes on Laurie and Greg's date to the soda shop. I don't want to ruin the moment for anyone who hasn't read the issue but I will say that it is quite possibly the cruelest thing I've ever seen one character do to another character in a comic. When I read it, I had to stop and share the moment with the guys I was with at that moment. When I recounted the moment, everyone's mouths fell open and their eyes bulged wide. The issue is worth triple the price just for that one moment. Just... wow.

So, as you can tell, I'm completely blown away by Silk Spectre #1. I am particularly impressed with Amanda Connor as she both did the art and co-scripted the issue. Before Watchmen is off to a very promising start.

The Crimson Corsair backup (part 2) is once again two pages. I love the coloring. The pages are almost entirely black and white except for a few muted reds such as the coat of a sailor. The art is generally capable but feels far too crowded with panels inside panels and sometimes no gutters between panels. Still, the storyline takes a dramatic turn this issue with a failed impromptu mutiny attempt... I'm interested to see where the story goes.

Before Watchmen: Minutemen #1 Reaction

Minutemen #1

The first comic to be published in Before Watchmen is Minutemen #1.

This comic serves as a primer for those who have never read Watchmen or who read it a long time ago and might need their memories refreshed a bit.

The story is told by Nite Owl as he is writing his autobiography, Under the Hood. It walks the reader through brief introductions to major characters such as Hooded Justice, The Silk Spectre, the Nite Owl himself,  The Comedian, Mothman, Dollar Bill, Silhouette, and Captain Metropolis.

There really isn't much of a story present - more like a point of view. A capturing of a moment in time. It's an overview. It's like reading brief psych profiles on a bunch of people. In several cases, the superhero names of the individuals aren't even mentioned. Motivations are more important than colorful costumes.

The issue is a good introduction to the Watchmen universe, especially since the events of Before Watchmen, of course, happen before the main story from Watchmen. It helps the reader understand who these people and how they are connection to one another. And it gives the characters a bit of forwarded momentum with Captain Metropolis's efforts to gather together a team of heroes at the end of the issue.

The style of the comic is 100% Watchmen. The first page starts us off with four panels of identical semi-circles. The first is from the POV of inside a baby's bassinet, followed by the view of a dirty city from a bridge underpass, followed by the sun, followed by Dr. Manhattan's forehead.

Likewise, on the second page complete circles are repeated (puddle, a carburetor, a clock and then the panels pull back to bring the reader into the scene.

The art of Darwyn Cooke is very stylistic but a bit too cartoonish to say, "Watchmen," to me.

I'm not going to complain, though. The issue is a good read and serves as a great introduction back into the world of Watchmen.

The Curse of the Crimson Corsair: The Devil int eh Deep Part One backup feature is literally two pages long. The art is great - dark, with deep, shadowy lines. It sets up a simple story hook with a crew member accused of theft. For having to squeeze in a ton of exposition, the story does its best with two measly pages. Page one manages to have a splash and title while the second page is jammed pack with 7 panels and 13 caption boxes.

Overall, Before Watchmen launches with great promise and much respect to the original story in this first issue.

Before Watchmen Reviews: Hurm.

To be honest, I didn't get it. The April 2012 Previews cover was completely black expect for a single yellow word: Hurm.

What was this all about?

A quick Google search later revealed Before Watchmen.

I love Watchmen. I'm not fanatical (obviously) but I own the trade and the movie and I recognize both for the genius that they are.

But to put a single word on the cover of Previews? Maybe it was brilliant. After all, it got my attention, didn't it?

1LR will be reacting to every issue of every Before Watchmen comic.

So, as Rorschach might say... "Hurm."