31 Days of Zombie Infestation: Day 17 - Night of the Zombie Goldfish

Night of the Zombie Goldfish

At first, zombies and goldfish may seem like an unusual fit. But, in fact, the easy-reader book "Night of the Zombie Goldfish" for kids is brilliant. After all, a goldfish represents innocence and youth and is completely harmless in every way... exactly the opposite of a zombie. AND goldfish are known for going belly-up without warning. What if those goldfish rose from their watery graves...?

Here's the plot: Two ordinary boys own some very ordinary goldfish. But when a science experiment accidentally gets mixed in with their food, these regular pets start becoming a lot more interesting. With a series of bubbles and pops, the slimy fish start growing and changing. Then they step right out of their tank -- and begin marching towards town.

Now, sure, this is suppose to be a funny book. But with that simple premise the author transforms the very symbol of childhood innocence into an undead threat. Additionally, it begins to introduce little kids to the ideas of zombies. Some of the other picture books we've featured for "Zombie Infestation" have actually been intended for adult audiences but this one is actually intended for kids around the first grade. For many kids this might be the first time there's exposed to zombies. And the sooner they learn about the coming zombie apocalypse, the better.

31 Days of Zombie Infestation: Day 10 - Pat the Zombie

Pat the Zombie

Zombies invade everything. If not in the real world than certainly in the realm of pop culture. It just seems so easy to apply a zombie template to anything in the world. I'm sure a quick Google search for "zombie Strawberry Shortcake" would turn up some spectacular results. Let's see... yep. Here you go:

Zombie Strawberry Shortcake

So, anyway, that's all a lead up to Pat the Zombie, a spoof of Pat the Bunny. I don't think I can say it better than the publisher so let me just pull exactly what they say about the book:

"In the hemorrhagic vein of other zombie parodies,Pat the Zombie presents trusting toddler Judy playing peek-a-boo with a putrefying Paul. Grownup fans of Pat the Bunny (seven million of them) will find their favorite touch-and-feel features disturbingly re-created: Judy reaches for Zombie’s decaying jaw instead of daddy’s cheek; Paul caresses Mummy’s empty eye socket instead of her wedding ring. Ximm’s twisted wit, Soofi’s sick artistic sensibility, and clever packaging that mimics the original book will bring the undead lurchingly to life in this camp popculture romp."

Sounds like fun to me!

31 Days of Zombie Infestation: Day 8 - Zombie Kid Diaries

Zombie Kid Diaries #2

A parody of the popular Diary of a Wimpy Kid novels, Zombie Kid Diaries was originally conceptualized with the title "Diary of a Zombie Kid" and had covers very similar to the Wimpy Kid books. I don't know if it was a lawsuit or not but for some reason the line was renamed and the visuals changed to make it more different than Wimpy Kid.

The insides are formatted very similarly to the Wimpy Kid books. It is kind of a hybrid between a comic and a traditional novel. Paragraphs of text are broken by "childish" drawings illustrating the action.

Antarctic Press has promoted the devil out of these books. They've released a Free Comic Book Day special as well as a "ComicFest" special as well. Several volumes are available now.

31 Days of Zombie Infestation: Day 6 - U.S. Army Zombie Training Manual

Army of one. Plus 100,000 zombies.

It's good to know that the U.S. Army is prepared to defend us from any situation. Including the inevitable zombie infestation.

Wait. What? This manual isn't how the army plans on DEFENDING us from zombies. It's literally a guide on how to TRAIN zombies to do jobs for the army.

Does this sound wise to anyone else? No? Okay, then we're on the same page.

The logic goes like this: The army can train dogs and the navy can train dolphins... why not train captured zombies? They can track, search, attack, and even go undercover! I think the best use might be to find the mines in a mine field.

But I see one big difference between a zombie and a dog or dolphin - a dolphin doesn't carry a infectious disease that could wipe humanity from the face of the earth. I say the only good zombie is a dead zombie. I mean really dead, not undead.

So I would implore the President to rewrite policy when it comes to zombies and our armed forced. Containment is a recipe for disaster and to think that they can be retrained is just playing with fire. Unfortunately, the only way to deal with the threat of zombies is complete annihilation. I know that's not very PC but it's the hard truth of the situation.

31 Days of Zombie Infestation: Day 4 - Zombie Cat

Zombie Cat. Why has this one never been done before? It seems like a natural fit. Zombies wander around aimlessly destroying everything they get their dirty little paws on, killing, and eating their prey. Sounds just like a cat to me!

This picture book features Tiddles, the Zombie Cat. Tiddles loves his owner, Jake, but Jake struggles with accepting his now undead pet. Obviously, this book is meant for adults and it is suppose to be funny.

The only problem I have with the cover is that Tiddles looks more like a vampire than a zombie. Since when do zombies of any species grow two long fangs?

Geek Gear: Darth Vader and Son Picture Book

Together, we can rule the galaxy! And go out for ice cream.

Ever wonder what would have happened if Darth Vader has actually raised Luke? Well, wonder no longer! Thanks to the comical picture book "Darth Vader and Son!"

How would Darth Vader deal with the trials and tribulations of an average dad? If you're a father you know what I'm talking about. The reason God hasn't given us force powers is because our children know how to push us to the Dark Side.

But force powers could be quite practical as a parent as well... "No, I said you're going to clean    your     room..." (Wave hands) Who needs a remote when you can change the channel with the force? And imagine being able to force choke any of your daughter's boyfriends. It never works, no matter how hard I try. *sigh*

But I also wonder about Leia. Where's the "Darth Vader's Little Leia" book? Surely that would be equally hilarious.

Coraline Graphic Novel

So what do you do when a famous comic book writer releases a novel? Well, you turn it into a graphic novel of course!

And that's exactly what they've done with Neil Gaiman's Coraline. Have you seen the movie? Yes, it was extremely weird but I've read the book and I can say that the book is even creepier. I didn't care for the movie that much but the book is pretty good.

As for the idea of turning into a graphic novel, sure, why not. But don't you think that if Gaiman had intended for it to be a graphic novel he would have written it that way in the first place?

And there are a ton of novels that get turned into graphic novels... but are there any graphic novels that get translated into novels? Hmmm... I can't think of any....

The Dark Tower 4.5: The Wind Through The Keyhole Review

The Wind Through The Keyhole:
The Dark Tower book #4.5

The Wind Through the Keyhole is a surprise entry into the Dark Tower series. Why? Because that series was thought to be complete and finished with seven hefty volumes. I greeted this book with mixed feelings. I love the Dark Tower world and characters so I was happy to be able to spend some more time with them and perhaps go on a new adventure or two. But I was also wary... with the series already done, what could this new book have to say that would be of value? There's also the risk of continuity flubs or adding new story elements that lessen events in the other books in some way.

On the dedication page Stephen King dedicates this book to "The Folks at Marvel Comics." It appears that Marvel's adaptations of his Dark Tower works into a chronological storyline told with graphic novels have spurred Mr. King's imagination with these characters ago.

This book, story-wise, takes place between books 4 and 5 of the Dark Tower. The structure of the novel is actually quite interesting. It's a bit like Russian Nestings Dolls... there are actually three stories in this book but one sits inside another and all of the stories have similar elements added to them. I'm pleased to report that on all fronts Stephen King avoided the outcomes that I feared and instead delivered one of his best written works in years.

The first story is, of course, about Roland has his Ka-Tet. They are on the road, traveling toward the Dark Tower and following the path of the Beam when a superstorm called a Starkblast, comes upon them and forces them to find hasty shelter. None of this is terribly interesting (as we know, having read book 5, that Jake, for example, doesn't die frozen to death in the storm, it lessens the suspense) and really it only serves the purpose of getting the characters together and still so Roland can tell a very long story - the second story.

So while the first story pauses, Roland tells his Ka-Tet (including us, the reader) the story of his youth when he investigated a cannibalistic Skin Man (a shapeshifter) in Debaria (which is where his mother once went on a healing retreat of sorts). Along the way, Roland makes the acquaintance of a young man who just lost his father. To comfort the boy, Roland tells the boy a long story about a boy named Tim.

So starts the third story-inside-the-story while both the first and second stories have been put on hold. The story of Tim is actually called The Wind Through the Keyhole, giving the entire book its name. Tim has a chance encounter with Martin Broadcloak / Roland Flagg that send him on an foolish errand to heal  his injured mother. I don't want to spoil it for anyone but Tim turns out to be quite a bit more than a foolish young boy. Along the way Tim finds himself in a truly magical place. In many regards, his story mirrors Roland's own including an encounter with the Starkblast storm. Tim's story is written as a fairy tale (as it is, in fact, a story that mothers tell their children) even though in the Dark Tower world the story is actually an historical account. Stephen King tells the best fairy tales (don't believe me? Read The Eye of the Dragon!). The story of Tim comes to a very satisfying ending. I would have been happy had the entire book ended there. But, no.

Once Tim's story is completed the reader is brought back to the story of the Skin Man. Roland solves that particular mystery and we get to see him grow as a character along the way. This Roland is young and makes careless mistakes. Once again, this story mirrors Tim's story. At one point the Skin Man changes into a large snake very similar to the one in Tim's story. Once again, the tale is brought to a very satisfying conclusion. But the satisfaction has almost nothing to do with the mystery of the Skin Man or the action at the end of it. Really all of that is just an excuse to get Roland to Debaria so he can receive his mother's last gift (Roland killed his own mother and this gift comes to him posthumously). I won't ruin it but let's just say that it's a very tender moment.

But then that tale wraps up and we're brought back to the "present" (between books 4 and book 5 of the Dark Tower series). The Ka-Tet react to Roland's story and there is perhaps the most emotionally-charged moment of the entire Dark Tower series. It brought tears to my eyes. Very powerful stuff and the entire ride is worth it for that one moment.

So along the way the reader is treated to three nestled stories, one inside the other, with parallels and echoes throughout all three. It's a very complex book with not one but three wonderful payoffs. I'd consider it in the top three or perhaps two Dark Tower books. Well done, Mr. King. Well done.

1LR REVIEW - 17 out of 20! It's a Solid Hit!

Geek Gear: Star Wars Cookbook

Have you ever watched the Jabba the Hutt sequence from Return and wonder, "How can I eat what Jabba's eating?" Well, now you can!

 

Mmm-mm! Wookiee Pies - an old family favorite! Grandma used to skin her own Wookies out back! She made sure that she only used the highest quality Wookie meat for a Wookie Pie!

Why do I doubt that a recipe for Jogan Fruit Cake is included?

Geek Gear: The Jedi Path

Oh yeah, there was this okay Jedi Path book released awhile ago as well. I'm sure it's okay and everything if you're into, you know, nobility, self-sacrifice, and honor. But I'm betting it doesn't have lights or play music. Stupid Jedi.

 

Geek Gear: Book of the Sith

Now this is just cool. This book is $100.00. Wait. Here me out. It comes in a black-and-red pyramid case. At the touch of a button, the door opens, lights light up, Star Wars music plays... and out comes The Book of the Sith!
 

I can't believe I'm saying this... but this is so awesome it's probably worth it. Who needs $100.00 anyway? What is that - two tanks of gas? Bah!

Hello, Dark Side, my glorious friend. Mwha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Geek Gear: Comic Book History of Comics

This one seems to be a no brainer... if you're going to tell the story of comic books, do it as a comic! But apparently, it's never been done. I'm very interested in checking this out! I'm sure I would learn quite a bit.

 

"Mr. Men and Little Miss" Books Return

I LOVED Mr. Men and Little Miss books when I was a kid. I mean LOVE. And when I say kid, I mean "up to about 13 years old." Yes, these books were written for your average six year old. To me, it was a challenge to try to collect them all like comic books! I was fascinated by the character's distinct personalities interacted with one another. I loved how the characters all existed in their own universe and appeared in one another's books. I dissected the storylines for inconsistencies. So, yes, it's fair to say I loved them. I STILL love them. I even have the Mr. Men and Little Miss Dictionary! I'm not ashamed!

 

So I was greatly delighted to see that Vizkids is utting out two 80 page books - Little Miss Sunshine: Here Comes the Sun and Mr. Bump: Lights, Camera, Bump!.

 

Thank you, Viz Media! Can a major motion picture be far behind?

Hunger Games? What a Pain!

I've read the entire Hunger Games trilogy. They're quite good. But that didn't stop me from busting a guy when I saw this parody novel the other day.

I like this new trend of parodying popular young adult novels. Will the Hunger Pains be a good book? Highly doubtful. I truly double if it'll be even funny. But I applaud the effort. Books like thing (and Diary of a Zombie Kid) are just fun as a concept.  

Bone: Quest for the Spark #2 (Novel)

Bone #2 (novel)

I love the Bone graphic novels. Recently, Cartoon Books published an actual Bone novel called Quest for the Spark. #2 has been solicited... I can't wait!

Pick-A-Plot: You are a Cat! GN

I choose... to sleep in the sun.

When I was a kid I was a big fan of the Choose Your Own Adventure books (okay, let me be honest - I'm still a big fan).

The recently announced You are a Cat! Pick-a-Plot book is unique because it is actually a graphic novel/choose your own adventure hybrid!

While that alone is genius, what's even more genius are the fake adds included in this book for future Pick-A-Plot books that will never actually be published such as You Are a Cult Leader!, You Are Homeless, and You Are Obsessed With Johnny Depp!.

Stan Lee's Secrets Behind the Comics SC

Stan Lee origianlly published this book in 1947. It's being reprinted by Pure Imagination Publihsing. I'd like to take a peek at this legendary book but the new printing has a price point of $20.00... oddly, it appears that the cover will be unaltered even though it says "PRICE $1" on it.

Blaze (Richard Bachman/Stephen King) Book Review

I've read every single Stephen King book published. But somehow I missed Blaze, a book written under his pen name, Richard Bachman. How, I'll never know. But I found it looking through used books recently and I said to myself, "Wait... I've never read this!" So, I picked it up and I read it.

By King's own admission in the book's intro he never meant for this novel to see the light of day. He calls it a "trunk novel," and, for many years, it actually sat in a trunk. It was written in 1972 but wasn't published until 2007! This supports my theory that we'll have new Stephen King novels 20 years after the man is dead.

Anyway, I actually thought Blaze was an okay book. It was certainly a quick read and the plot moved forward quickly. Essentially, Blaze is the name of a man who is mentally retarded. He was taken under the wing of a con-man and used in the con-man's schemes but then the con-man dies, leaving Blaze all alone in the world. Blaze's only hope for a happy ending is to successfully kidnap a rich family's young baby and ask for a ransom. He does this, but everything doesn't go as he planned...

The novel is told in alternating chapters - one in modern day (that is, 1972 modern day), the next in Blaze's formative years. While I didn't mind this, I sometimes wanted to skip over the childhood stuff, especially since most of the time it didn't directly impact what was happening in the modern story.

King does a good job of making Blaze a sympathetic character. This novel isn't so much a story as it is a character study. What makes a man do something do desperate?

I also liked that it remained a realistic fiction story, not fantasy like so many of King's novels. Sure, Blaze hears his dead friend's voice in his head but that's all he remains - a voice in Blaze's head. No ghosts or zombies in this novel!

Overall, it's an enjoyable, quick read that kept me turning the pages to see if Blaze would blindly stumble upon success or the inevitable failure.

1LR Rating - 16 out of 20 - It's a Hit!

Christ the Lord: The Road to Cana Graphic Novel Announced

Jesus Christ

I'll bet, if you're like me, when you think of Anne Rice you think vampires. But that's not what she wants you to think - not anymore! She wants you to think - Jesus!

Anne Rice has started a four-novel series all about the historically accurate life of Jesus Christ. The first book is called Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt and the second book is called Christ the Lord: The Road to Cana.

The second book is being adapted into a graphic novel by Sea Lion Books. In interviews, Rice is very concerned with the historical accuracy of the visuals. She wants the pictures to reflect the historical truths of first century Palestine. Below is an initial sketch of the Jesus character from the graphic novel.

Origami Yoda and Darth Paper

Ah, Star Wars. How you permeate our society. How ubiquitous you are. Example #10,483: A new series of young adult books called "Origami Yoda."

           

The concept is simple. A kid at school makes an origami Yoda finger puppet. The kid does a Yoda voice and  says wise things. The only weird part is that the paper Yoda is actually helping people. Does it have force powers? The series then continues with Darth Paper Strikes Back. The kid with the origami Yoda gets kicked out of school and it all might be the evil Darth Vader's fault!

These books are riddle with Star Wars references, obviously. I wonder if George Lucas had to officially okay these books or if Tom Angleberger (the author) could get away with using the names and likenesses of characters by saying it's a spoof or something. *quick internet search*

I'm back and, because everything you read on the internet is true, I now know that someone at one of Lucas's  companies had to okay the use of Yoda. Seems the person drove home, chucked the script at their kid and said, "Read this and tell me if we should do it." Lazy parent. I hope you give your kid 10% of your paycheck. Anyway, the kid said yes, and Origami Yoda was born.